Favorite New Sayings

This past week I've learned two new sayings that just completely cracked me up. (I would love to give credit to the people who came up with these but as I learned them at work, I better play it safe and not mention them by their real names)

Expression #1

Told to me by "Todd" in a very calm voice: "I have to finish this work before the client seriously fucks with my tranquility."

You really had to hear his tone of voice to get that one but I just cracked up.

Expression #2

Told to me by "Sarah" who forgot to do something important: "Son of a crap!"

I still giggle at that one.

So, I'm 28 Today....

...and it's been a great start on my 28th year. My parents came by yesterday to drop off gifts to me. A gift certificate to my favorite restaurant in Saint John (Lemongrass) and a gift certificate to Rikki's. I can always use more clothes. :)

This morning also started off well. I woke up refreshed and at a decent hour. Not that horrible 5:30 business I've been doing lately. Got out the door early so I would have enough time to stop by Java Moose and get a hot chocolate. Once I get there, I find freshly baked blueberry muffins (they only have blueberry once a week so this is a special treat). So I happily head to work with my sugar rush in my hand.

Then Colin emails me to say we should go to dinner tonight instead of this coming Friday as we originally planned. And we're going to Lemongrass. This is good because it means I won't have to cook. So we have dinner and then head back to his place so he can give me my gift. It's wrapped in green tissue paper in a Christmas bag (he is a boy after all).

If you remember a post from a month ago about my computer problems you'll understand my first gift. It's this kickass surge protector that guarantees to protect my pc from any type of power surge. If any surge gets by this puppy and fries my beleaguered pc, the company will replace my pc. Lifetime guarantee. So very wicked. I'm tired of spending money on my pc because of power interruptions. Very practical and very necessary in my world. My second gift is more geeky. A 2GB USB drive. The one I have now is 256MB (also received from Colin) which hold enough for working purposes but doesn't help me ferry my larger files around.

All in all, a good birthday. I wonder what will happen in the next year....

A Slight Recant

It has been brought to my attention that my previous post came off as "anti-marriage" and looking at it again, I can see their point.

I'm not against marriage. I'm against people continuously asking when I'M going to get married. I don't think it's anyone's business when or if I decide to get married. I hate the terms:

• "You're not getting any younger."
• "You/he have to seal the deal."
• "Getting the milk for free."

They're so derogatory. I'm not old, I'm not a contract, and I'm not a bloody cow! I don't see why I should feel the need to get married because other people (i.e. society) think it's time. I don't want to jump into something as permanent as marriage only to find out that I wasn't ready or I didn't marry the right person and end up divorced in under 5 years. That's not fair to either me or my potential spouse.

I'm not against marriage. Just people telling me what to do.

Marriage! Bah!

Ok. First off, let me say that I'm sure marriage is a wonderful institution (well, as wonderful as something called an 'institution' can be). But I am so VERY SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME WHEN I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!


I am not getting married any time in the near future. Just because I:

• have been with the same man for a couple of years
• am nearly 28 years old and therefore the "right" age
• am of "child bearing" years
• am a woman

does not mean that I am getting married any time soon!!!!!

Why is it that if you are a woman above the age of 23 that you should immediately be asked if you're getting married soon? I roll my eyes at everyone who asks me that and I don't care if I'm rude. It's none of THEIR business! I am tired of being asked why I'm "holding out" or what's taking him so long to "seal the deal." I am not "holding out". It sounds like I'm waiting for a better offer from Colin, like a bigger ring or a house or something. AND there is no "deal to seal." I am not a bloody contract! This is not 1845.

I am told that being married makes you happy and content. I'm sorry but most of the married people I know don't seem happy and/or content. I just heard a story today where a woman was saying that she had to take care of her husband because he got drunk and stoned at a friend's house and he had no idea how to smoke dope so he was more screwed up than normal. She seemed to find this funny because she treated him like a piece of junk cuz he was being an idiot. Yeah, sounds like fun. I guess that's the for worse part of the "for better or worse" part of the vows.

All I hear is how the "wife was annoyed" or the husband "was a jerk." Married couples almost always seem irritated with each other to me. No thanks. I can be irritated with Colin without us being married. And if I get too irritated, I can go home. To my place. By myself. Where no one can irritate me.

Then there's the "when are you having kids" question. Excuse me?! Personal much? Why would I want needy, whiney, selfish little people under foot when I can have disposable income? Call me Alex P. Keaton but I'd rather have the money. And don't give me that crap about having children is the most wonderful, life-fulling thing there is. Life fullfilling is not the same thing for every person. I have seen many childless-by-choice couples and they seem happier than the child having couples. Personally, I think all those "you should have kids" people should be thrilled that I'm not eager to bring more children into this messed up world. It means fewer people to fight over limited resources.

Stay tuned for my next rave: Why Being Unmarried and Childless Rocks!

Colinism - Epiphany

Conversation in a car.

Me: So, I had an epiphany earlier...

Colin: Who's Tiffany?